Alone In My Memories (Twin Series) Page 11

  “You helped Emily get a scholarship to attend Gallaudet University,” Myles said, as he watched the look of disbelief in her eyes.

  “Not only that, for years now you have done everything you could to help Emily learn how to survive in a world of sound. I was never more proud of anyone in my life as I was of you. It has been inspirational watching how you motivated her to believe she could achieve any goal, and now look what has become of it,” Mrs. London added. “My mother always said you were meant for something great and I never once doubted her words. The things you've done, the people you've helped…” Her mother’s eyes blurred, with emotion.

  “Really? I’m so happy to hear I've helped someone, only I don’t remember...though I wish I could.” Katherine looked to her mother, Myles and then Emily. “Where is Gallaudet University? What is it like?”

  “It's the first federally chartered university for the education of the hard of hearing as well as the deaf, in the entire world. It is located in Washington DC on about ninety-nine acres of land. It was only fifty-five years ago that women were even allowed to attend this school and now our own Emily will be joining the ranks,” Myles said with much vigor to his voice. He was very proud of his wife.

  “I could never thank you enough,” Emily signed. “All you have done so sacrificially to help me. You are a godsend.” There were tears in her eyes as she expressed the words from her heart.

  “Oh Emily!” Katherine tightly embraced her. Moments later setting Emily at an arm’s length, she smiled. “I'm just glad to know you're happy and that this will help. I wish the best for you and I can see…I feel already how much you will be missed.”

  Emily mouthed the words, Thank you. Standing she stretched out her hands to the boys who eagerly clasped their hands in hers as she took them off to play.

  The haze was lifting. It had not been all bad. Katherine could see this now. The life she lived was still a blur, but it had positively impacted someone. This indeed was the beam of light in which she had struggled to see. To Katherine life had little meaning unless it was lived for someone else. Riches and wealth had little value unless they lighten the load of another. Katherine felt relieved to see she had not become what she had feared, a complacent woman of high society who thought selfishly of her own desires, caring for little else but her own pleasures…until it came to Caleb. This burning thought, this searing pain, shattered her momentary peace as it mocked her.

  Chapter 8: Picture Perfect

  Her mother stayed and ate lunch with them, aiding Katherine as she cut a few flowers and added them as a centerpiece on top of the white metal outdoor table where Myles suggested they all take their lunch. It was wonderful having her mother there. The children as well as Myles seemed thrilled also. They sat enjoying a light midday meal of chicken and potato salad, sipping on cold lemonade. It was such a wonderful time for Katherine because her mother took the edge off of the tension that always seemed to surface whenever she was alone with Myles.

  “Well, I have played hooky long enough,” Mrs. London said a little over an hour later as she reached for her bag.

  “You’re leaving?” Katherine asked worriedly, unwilling to relinquish the calm which had settled over her because of her mother’s presence.

  Her mother smiled. “I have to go back to work, my love. A business doesn’t run on its own you know.”

  Katherine blinked. “A business?” she whispered, looking taken aback.

  Katherine knew her mother had worked for a few years as a waitress and then she became a secretary for Mr. Styles' Paper Company, but she had no idea her mother had opened a business of her own.

  “Yes dear, my flower shop. We don’t have a green thumb for nothing.” Mrs. London smiled beaming. “Why shouldn’t it be to our benefit? Which reminds me Myles, when does your uncle return? I know as my business partner he wants me to keep him updated on all the activity we've been having, and the new changes I've made,” Mrs. London said warmly.

  Katherine looked at her husband and knew he saw her surprise over the news her mother delivered. So much had changed. What a difference just a few years made and Katherine could not help but notice how thrilled her mother was to be doing the very thing she loved the most. She was amazed to find that Mr. Manley had helped to fund her mother’s business endeavor.

  Why did Myles’ uncle finance her mothers’ business? Had he done so because he was embarrassed to have them as poor relations? Was he aiding Katherine’s mother to propel her to be a success someday, perhaps to be looked upon with more grace in the realm of his circle? After all, the Manley’s were a very wealthy family and when Myles announced their engagement it must have been shocking news indeed, that his future wife was penniless.

  “Uncle Frederick called me this morning. He said he should be here sometime within the next three days,” Myles said cautiously as he studied his wife, who seemed to take up a sudden interest in the empty contents of her plate.

  What was it now? Surely Katherine could not be upset that his uncle was assisting her mother with the dream she'd cherished for so many years? Was this something else Katherine would hold against him? How could he possibly ever win with Katherine, when everything he did to win her, left him at loss in the end?

  “I am ahead of the game. I’ll be ready for Frederick, I always am,” Mrs. London said in a light teasing voice as she stood, kissed her grandson’s, daughter and waved as she sped across the lawn to her vehicle.

  Moments later Laura appeared to retrieve the boys for their nap, but they refused and complained they were not tired.

  “We want to stay with you and Mommy,” Michael said as he leaned his head on his mother’s arm, his eyes pleading with his mother to let him stay.

  “But it's your nap time,” Myles pointed out as he leaned back in his seat watching them.

  “And mine too,” Katherine admitted, looking down at her sons, as a ray of sunshine cascaded angelically about her. “Would you like to take your nap with me?” there was a radiance of warmth in her eyes when she spoke.

  He watched how pleased the twins were as their mother suggested they nap with her, as they did the day before. Myles smiled when Matthew leaped out of his seat, clasping his mother’s hand as though she was the most cherished possession of all. She was theirs, wasn’t she? All of theirs…

  “Mickey, me and Daddy?” Matthew asked, looking wishfully from his mother to his father.

  Katherine looked up at her husband speechless. She had simply tried to alleviate their children’s lack of desire to take a nap by going along with them, besides she enjoyed spending time with their sons, but never for a moment did Katherine assume either of the children would want Myles to accompany them as well.

  “What do you say Kat? Would you like for me to come along?” Myles stated, breaking into her thoughts as he steadily held her gaze, waiting for his wife’s response.

  Katherine felt the growing sense of unease she couldn't shake. Had Myles not slept beside her last night? Had he not soothed her back to sleep after her nightmare? So why then was she so reluctant now to let him join her and the boys? What would the boys say if she denied Myles the privilege of accompanying them upstairs? It was what they wanted, two parents side by side, but it was not what she was capable of giving, at least not now. It was too soon and too early for them to be the family the boys remembered. In fact, Katherine was still unsure about what kind of family they truly were.

  “Yes Daddy,” Michael said as though it was the expected thing to do, only he didn’t understand the depth within that question. He was not aware of the state of his parent’s marriage.

  “I’ll come along boys, but only if your mother wants me to,” Myles said lightly as his eyes deeply probed hers, boring into her soul, willing her to want him close. “So Katherine, what will it be?”

  Her shoulders tightened with tension, she swallowed. Why was Myles openly asking this of her in front of Laura and the boys? Katherine flushed and lowered her eyes.

  “I
know you must be busy. I-I wouldn’t want to take you away from your…responsibilities,” Katherine said with a soft shaky voice.

  You are my responsibility. You and these boys are my life, my all, Myles thought sadly.

  He laughed then, but it was a bitter sound. What did he expect? Why would things suddenly be any different just because he wished it?

  “So, the answer is no.” Myles nodded, as he tried to accept Katherine’s rejection of him. “Enjoy your nap.” He stood looking down at the boys and forced a smiled on his lips, though his heart felt heavy. It wasn't the first time his wife rejected him. Her rejection had grown so numerous he'd lost count, yet it didn’t lesson the pain.

  “But Daddy──” Michael began in protest.

  “Mommy wants you all to herself and I have some things I must do.” When Myles moved towards them he watched as Katherine slightly turned away from him when he bent down to kiss their sons.

  He almost left at that moment, had almost walked away from them, but Myles found himself lightly brushing her hair with the very tips of his fingers. Gently he swept a few silken strands behind her ear, as he inhaled the sweet rose fragrance she wore.

  “Get some rest Katherine,” Myles said deeply as his fingers brushed over the center of her cheek. He felt her shiver. Smiling down at the boys he ruffled their hair and gave one last fleeting look to his wife before heading back into the house.

  Katherine wasn't able to take her nap. She felt troubled about the present course of things, as well as fear over what exactly the future held in store. Never was she more uncertain in her life about everything. Nothing in her life was as simple as she always imagined it would be. Katherine began to realize how childish her views were on life, almost like a fairytale, but in life there was no happily-ever-after, was there.

  Tears came to her eyes, brought on by self-pity. How had she ever been so foolish to believe her life would be different, that she could actually find the love and contentment her mother always longed for, and yet had never managed to obtain?

  Katherine imagined everything so differently than it turned out. All she ever wanted, the only man who ever made sense in her life was Caleb. Instead of marrying him as she desired, Katherine had married Myles instead. But why? It just didn’t make any sense! Why Myles? She didn’t love him. She loved Caleb and yet the thought of his name filled her with guilt and shame as her mind ran over the loving sentiment of the letters he had written…to a married woman. Darling, sweetheart, honey. Her throat tightened as she recalled each and every word of endearment he used. She remembered how Caleb wrote that, nothing at all made sense without her. For her it was true, nothing at all made sense without him. Yet the face her mind conjured up, at the moment was not of the ruggedly charming face of Caleb, but of the fair and stunningly handsome features of Myles.

  After twenty minutes of feeling restless, Katherine eased out of bed, kissed her two sons and lightly closed their bedroom door, trying not to awaken them. Carefully taking the stairs, Katherine stepped down into the foyer and glanced up at the portrait and felt herself shrivel up inside.

  “Myles has no right to place you here,” Katherine whispered as though the portrait could respond. And you have no right to hang your affections on a man who is not your husband, her conscious sharply reminded her.

  Audrey entered the foyer then, caring a handful of cleaning supplies as she headed for the dining quarters.

  Katherine eagerly followed the young woman into the dining room though Audrey tried to refuse her help at first, but then she laughed and said, “It’s just like you ma’am to help me about as you do. You always did you know?”

  Katherine was glad to busy herself by assisting Audrey with polishing the silverware in the dining room, but as she worked, her gaze periodically went in the direction of the foyer, where the portrait was.

  “Audrey?” Katherine asked hesitantly at first, unable to hold her curiosity in any further.

  “Yes ma’am.” Audrey put the silver bowl down that she was polishing and reached for its matching platter.

  “I saw, I mean I noticed there is a new painting in the foyer,” Katherine hinted, waiting anxiously for the servants response.

  “Yes. I watched Robert and Thomas put it up this morning. I was surprised to see the time it took to hang that portrait, but it does look lovely, doesn’t it?” Audrey smiled.

  “Yes, quite lovely,” Katherine reluctantly admitted.

  “I don’t think there has ever been a more beautiful woman. I can’t help, but stare at her portrait every time I walk by. Mr. Manley can’t seem to keep his eyes off of it either, I watched how he was looking at it this morning,” Audrey said in a matter-of-fact voice, as though somehow this should have pleased Katherine.

  “So he seems to really like it?” There was a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach when Katherine asked this.

  “No ma’am, I think he loves it,” Audrey said with much vigor.

  After Katherine left Audrey she restlessly walked about the house, discovering the various different rooms in the large manor. Katherine was trying to convince herself she was learning about this house by finding out where everything was, for after all this was her home now. But when she opened a door into the very room her husband was occupying, Katherine realized she'd been avoiding Myles company all afternoon. Somehow she wasn't able to get the things Audrey said out of her mind.

  Myles was sitting in a tall Jacobean chair, behind a grand mahogany table which stood on large ornate legs. The light from the window at his back pooled in all around him. He looked like a long ago Lord of the Manor, a charming and dangerous rake who could send a maiden's heart racing by simply unleashing one of his dashing smiles.

  For a moment she thought he didn't see her, since his head was bowed over a stack of papers; but as she tried to back out of what appeared to be his study, Myles looked up squarely at her with his green alluring eyes and she felt breathless.

  “Wait Katherine,” Myles stood, his gaze sweeping over her from the swell of her belly to the top of her brow.

  “I-I didn’t know you were in here. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” She inched back coyly.

  “No, it’s alright. I’m not busy.” Never too busy for you, he thought with a wide grin which pulled at the scar on his cheek.

  Was that pleasure she saw in his eyes? Had Myles actually been pleased to see her even though she hadn't asked him to join her for her nap, despite the portrait of the woman he so devotedly admired? The woman Audrey said he had loved?

  “I was just…learning where everything is.” Katherine looked about the room at the two large portraits were positioned on the left and right side of the window. Each portrait was of a stately old man. Needless to say they were Myles relatives. Something glimmered in the corner of the room, catching her eye. She turned to find a silver armored knight clasping a large sword in his hand. Katherine didn't notice how intently he was watching her until Myles began speaking.

  “This coat of armor belonged to Uncle Frederick. It’s been in the family for centuries and now it belongs to me." He stood up from his desk, moving to her side. "When I was a boy, I used to imagine it was my armor and that I was King Arthur with my Knights of the Round Table.” Katherine could hear the tenderness in his voice as Myles shared his childhood dreams. “And I ruled Camelot with my queen, Guinevere. I guess then I never once worried about Lancelot.” His voice took on a solemn note.

  Katherine closed her eyes feeling his words as they tore at her, warring with her conscience. Was Caleb her Lancelot?

  “I should go.” She turned to leave.

  “No Kat, don’t go.” Myles reached out and stopped her, gradually turning his wife around to face him. When she kept her eyes lowered he gently lifted her chin, studying her features as though he was seeing her for the first time. “You look exhausted,” Myles stated worriedly.

  “I couldn’t sleep.” Katherine smiled weakly when Myles left brow lifted. “I asked Laura to go in and watch t
he children while they slept.”

  “Why don’t you rest here for a while?” Myles suggested as he lightly began to rub the underside of her chin.

  “I couldn’t impose myself on you. I’m sorry that I──” She inched back stepping away from him, fighting the urge to flee.

  “Stay,” Myles whispered, holding her gaze.

  Katherine froze, taking a deep breath as she calmed her jittery nerves. Once more her gaze rested on his desk, over the piles of papers stacked there, papers which brushed against an open book…it was of photos, photos of the children. Instantly she moved to the desk and picked up the book.

  “They are so little here.” There was wonder and love in her voice when she looked down at their son’s baby photos.

  “Yes, I believe they were only four months old at the time. Would you like to see the rest of the book?” Myles inquired brightly.

  “Yes, thank you.” Katherine eagerly nodded.

  “Why don’t you take a seat.” Myles gestured toward the damask covered Jacobean settee which had a double hump back. When Katherine hesitated, Myles urged, “It will help you take a load off your feet while you look through the album.”

  Seeing the rationality of what Myles suggested, Katherine found herself moving toward the golden covered settee and lightly eased herself down onto the soft plush seat.

  “There, are you comfortable?” he asked with a knowing smile, the second she was seated.

  “Very,” Katherine said while she turned a page and saw the twins’ gleeful smile as they lay laughing on their blue knitted baby blanket.

  “You can see their personalities coming to life even then, can’t you?” Myles asked as he seated himself beside her.

  Katherine barely noticed how Myles had positioned himself next to her, as she smiled down sweetly at the photo, brushing her fingers over the gloss covered slip, as though she were caressing their very cheeks.