Alone In My Memories (Twin Series) Read online

  “He was happy?” Katherine asked, surprised at Vivien’s statement.

  “He would have rung if he’d had bells on.” Vivien laughed. “That always was the case with Mr. Manley, when it came to you. You’ve done something to him, to all of us really. You’ve made this a home,” Vivien said warmly.

  Katherine was speechless. She didn’t know what to say. By the way Vivien spoke, she would have thought Myles might have strong, tender feelings for her, stronger feelings than she could ever imagine him having for any woman. How could a man who looked like Myles, wooed women like Myles did, ever give his heart to just one? Her father hadn't done so, at least not with her mother. It didn’t seem possible, all the things Vivien said. If any of it was really true then why didn’t he come up to help her? Why did he send Vivien instead? Why wasn’t he home now?

  “Mrs. Manley?” Vivien touched her arm.

  Katherine blinked, letting go of her thoughts. “Yes Vivien, thank you for helping me,” she said quickly, attempting to smile.

  “You alright ma'am?” Vivien asked.

  “Yes I am fine, just a bit of a headache,” Katherine said lightly trying to reassure her.

  “Will you be needing anything else this evening, ma'am?” Vivien asked.

  Katherine politely thanked her. Vivien hesitated for only a moment before she swept up Katherine’s discarded clothes and left, leaving her to wonder alone.

  Katherine looked to the king sized bed and groaned. How was she supposed to get in it all by herself? But when she walked to her side of the bed, she spotted a cherry wood stepping stool Myles had probably brought in. Katherine relished the ease in which she stepped up onto the bed, sighing as her head sunk down onto the soft goose down pillows. Katherine felt the weariness she fought for hours engulf her. She was never more physically, or emotionally drained in her entire life.

  She tried to think of pleasant thoughts like the moments she spent with her sons, or the last time she spent with Caleb in the hospital only days before, yet she could not stop her thoughts from drifting back to Myles. Where had Myles gone and why was it he had not come back as of yet?

  Katherine glanced at the clock. It was only thirty-five minutes past eight, surely she couldn’t expect he would retire this early, only she found it quite unsettling that Myles had left. When their sons inquired about their father, Katherine didn't know what to say. Laura quickly flew to her aid by suggesting they play a game of hide-and-seek. Why did Laura come to her aid? Perhaps she knew about Myles whereabouts, had guessed somehow, as Katherine guessed, that he had snuck away to be with another woman. That idea was not a new thought. It was something which had played out before in her life. Yet later, right as she kissed her son's good night, they asked for their father again and it seemed to play back the memories of her childhood.

  Myles was no different than her father was. Her father had also disappeared from time to time. Katherine remembered asking her mother where her daddy was. Her mother would hold her, rock her to sleep in her arms. Never once did she try to explain to her daughter what no parent could logically explain to any child. Katherine had looked out her window one summer evening, when the moon was full and bright. After she sat for nearly an hour, a car came to a halt in front of their driveway. Katherine saw a man step out of the car. He laughed as he leaned down towards the woman inside. She watched as he briefly kissed the woman and then stood waving as she drove away. When the man turned, Katherine’s whole world shattered. That man was her father. That was when the hero worship she felt for him died, and when Katherine realized her mother had been destroyed for the love of a handsome face and a charming smile. That was the power men like her father held, men like Myles…but Caleb was different, he would never disappoint her in this way, never.

  Katherine’s head throbbed even more viciously than it did before. Why was she thinking about her father’s betrayal now? There was no purpose in thinking over what she couldn’t change. When the pain in her head intensified Katherine discarded her thoughts all together. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax, to ease her mind into a place of peace…rest…and sleep.

  Alone, the word echoed back again and again into the dark recesses of her mind. She was alone. Katherine looked about her and knew there was not a single soul in sight. She was flanked between four large towering buildings, their walls as silent as the secrets which echoed from ages past...alone. Every step she made rang up loudly to her, wore her nerves on edge. The wind brushed her cheek and she shivered, pulling her coat more tightly about her, as she glanced back over her shoulder. What was that sound? Was somebody else there? Her heart raced, but it was only the shadows of ghastly trees which laid behind her, and yet the urge to run intensified.

  “Who’s there?” She stopped turning, waiting, boldly in the dark, but nothing came, no one spoke…nothing.

  Alone, the word flowed up to her again until she herself begin to chant it…alone…alone…alone.

  Katherine awoke trembling.

  “Kat?” Myles said in a deep sleepy voice as he leaned over his wife.

  Katherine gulped for air as she opened her eyes and felt her body trembling, felt her chest tightening. She put up her hand to block his when he reached out to touch her.

  “It’s alright Kat. It’s me,” Myles said tenderly with a soothing tone, attempting to reassure his wife that all was well.

  Katherine shook her head, as she weakly tried to ward him off.

  “It’s alright. Look at me Kat,” Myles whispered. “Come on sweetheart, look at me,” he coaxed. “It’s me, Myles.”

  Katherine blinked. “Myles,” she whispered, as her eyes slowly began to focus.

  It wasn’t dark anymore, her bedside lamp was on. She was not alone, Myles was there. Katherine swallowed as the air flowed more easily through her lungs. It was a dream, just a dream. She sighed.

  Myles brushed away the damp strands laying on her brow. He didn’t know what to make of her reaction to him. Images conjured up in his mind, but he readily discarded them. Forcing his trying thoughts aside, Myles studied his wife's small trembling form, as she laid helplessly beside him.

  “Are you alright?” he asked as he looked gravely at his wife, the green orbs of his eyes intensely lingering upon her.

  Katherine nodded.

  Myles' fingers moved over her dampened brow, his thumb circling the scar which was now lightly fading.

  “Was it a bad dream?” he asked.

  Katherine nodded again, as a chill went up her spine. She saw the trees, heard the howling voice of the wind and trembled.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Myles asked, willing his wife to lean on him, to allow him to do all he could to ease the pain.

  Katherine shook her head and looked sullenly up at her husband. She didn’t know what to make of what she had seen, she didn’t understand it. It felt so incredibly real, what her senses had fictitiously meshed together.

  “You’re still shivering,” Myles said as he brushed his thumb over her moist cheek and looked down upon the dampened sheet which had fallen to her waist, along with the dampness of her nightgown. Katherine had broken out in a cold sweat. When Myles moved to further draw down the sheets that covered her, she tightened her grip, keeping the covers in place.

  “I’m cold,” Katherine whispered as she shivered, with a touch of sleep in her eyes.

  “I know love. That’s why I have to get you out of this nightgown and into something dry,” Myles said hoping she would willingly comply with what he suggested.

  Moments later Katherine felt his body move off of the bed, her eyes followed his retreating form.

  “Myles?” Katherine said in a frightened voice.

  “Yes sweetheart,” he spoke in a concerned tone.

  “Don’t leave,” she voiced in an alarmed pitch. Katherine was taken by surprise by her words, after all, it was Myles whom she was asking to comfort her. Never in her wildest dreams did Katherine ever imagine she would ever be in need of Myles, nor want him near
, as she wanted him now.

  Myles turned around with a reassuring look in his eyes when he heard the nervous plea in her voice. “No Kat, I won’t leave you. I could never do that.” It would break my heart if you left me, he thought. It warmed his heart she'd asked him to stay. It was a remarkable feeling to be needed by his wife.

  “Where are you going?” Katherine asked with a fretful look in her eyes, as they glistened once more with tears. How could Myles leave her when she still felt so frightened? The terror that gripped her only moments earlier still lingered.

  “I won’t leave. I just need to get you a dry nightgown,” Myles said gently as he turned towards Katherine’s armoire, pulled open the bottom drawer and slipped out the pale, sleeveless, blue nightgown on top. A wisp of the rose fragrance she wore still lingered on the fabric of the gown, almost clouding his mind. Promptly he went back to her side.

  “Now let’s get you changed out of this wet gown,” Myles said lightly, as he moved to pull away the rest of the covers.

  “Myles, don’t!” Katherine grabbed his wrist in a strong sturdy grip, his words and action sending her emotions reeling.

  He looked down where she held him, then into her eyes.

  “What’s the matter Kat?” Myles asked, as he eased his hold on the sheet.

  “I’ll change, only,” she looked apprehensively up at him, “If you promise to turn around,” Katherine said as her cheek’s warmed with color.

  “You don’t want me to look at you?” Myles questioned, astounded by the reality of her words. He watched the stain of color on his wife’s cheeks and found her timid actions unsettling.

  “Please Myles.” Her large brown eyes pleaded up at him.

  “I won’t look,” Myles promised, willing her to see this with his eyes.

  “But you will.” Katherine’s eyes glistened with tears.

  “This is silly Kat. We’re married. I just want to help you. You can’t possible do this without someone's help,” he tried to point out, his eyes drifting to her injured arm.

  “But I don’t want you to undress me.” Fresh tears pooled down her cheeks. This all felt so humiliating. Yes they were married, but she didn’t remember. This was all new to her.

  Myles sighed. He didn’t want to upset her any further. Katherine had always been bashful about the intimacies of marriage. Her modesty was his undoing.

  “Alright.” He released the sheet.

  Katherine slowly released her hold on his wrist. Handing his wife the fresh nightgown Myles turned around, giving Katherine the privacy she requested.

  Katherine looked at her husband’s back, saw the tension in his broad sculptured shoulders, watched as he slipped his hand into the pockets of his blue satin pajama bottoms. When she felt certain he wasn’t going to turn around, that Myles would keep his promise, Katherine began to carefully remove the damp nightgown she wore.

  Myles closed his eyes trying to set his thoughts on anything other than his wife, but the light rustling sound of fabric being removed, pulled on his senses. He saw Katherine in his mind’s eye, sitting upon their bed with her light silken hair flowing over her smooth velvety shoulders, cascading over the soft supple curve of her back. Myles swallowed shaking his head. What was he thinking? His wife was sitting there frightened to death from a dream, overwhelmingly petrified and his thoughts ran where they should not have ventured.

  “I’ll get some water,” Myles said deeply as he rushed off to the bathroom.

  Turning on the gold faucet he ran the water until it was the right temperature and splashed his face three times in an attempt to calm his senses. Grabbing a towel Myles wiped the dampness from off his face and tossed the towel back onto the green marble countertop. He hesitated for a few more moments giving his wife the appropriate time to dress before he entered back into their sleeping quarters.

  When Myles returned Katherine had just managed to pull down the hem of her nightgown over her large belly after struggling for the better part of five minutes, when her gown and straps had somehow gotten twisted. She feared for a few moments she would have had to ask for her husband’s aid, but with much difficulty she was able to complete the task.

  Myles walked towards her with a silver bowl in one hand and a white washcloth in the other. Setting the bowl and washcloth down onto her nightstand, he pulled open the drawer and slipped out a fresh set of bed linens.

  After observing his actions Katherine began to ease herself towards the edge of the bed, so she could slip back down to the floor. Before she could help herself down, Myles cautiously slipped his hands about her and swept Katherine up into his arms, as though she were as light as a feather.

  “Myles!” she gasped. “I could have managed to get down,” Katherine protested, as her toes dangled in the air and her belly jutted up in the most unbecoming manner, while Myles carried her to the chair which was positioned only a few feet away.

  “You’re still shivering,” Myles reminded her, as he deposited his wife in the cushiony floral chair and tucked a burgundy throw over her shoulder. “I’m just trying to keep you warm.” He brushed a strand of her hair over the throw, admiring the way the light brown hue stood out next to the burgundy shade.

  “But you didn’t have to──” Katherine watched his fingers as they swirled her hair around in loops and shivered.

  “You’re still cold, aren’t you?” Myles asked, as he looked up into the golden brown depths of her eyes.

  “Just a little,” Katherine admitted as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Her gaze locked with his, into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. The thought made her uneasy, as well as the web of intimacy they were being drawn into.

  “Let me help warm you.” Myles captured one of her arms in his hand and began to lightly rub up and down the length of her arm until he felt warmth growing in the palm of his hands. “Is that better?” he asked after a few moments.

  “Yes,” Katherine said softly, nervously watching as he moved to the other arm, his fingers gently brushing over the throw, in a gently yet firmly soothing motion. She closed her eyes yielding to the warmth that enveloped her.

  “Better?” Myles asked again, while he felt his wife’s body ease.

  Katherine nodded as she felt the warmth sweeping through her, her body responded to his skillful touch. But when Katherine felt Myles hand on her leg she instantly stiffened, opening her eyes.

  “You don’t have to do that. I’m fine now, thank you.” She touched his hand attempting to still its motion.

  “Are you sure?” Myles asked, intensely studying her while he lightly rubbed his hand against the side of her legs. He could feel the heat in her body, knew Katherine was better, only he didn’t want to stop touching her.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” she said stiffly, avoiding his eyes. “And I-I know that y-you want to change out the linens.”

  Myles nodded. He wanted to laugh, but it would only be a bitter sound. Why did he expect anything would change? Katherine didn’t have to remember to be unmoved by him, it was something her memory did not dictate. She never really wanted him, not like most women wanted their husbands. He had been bewitched by her beauty that was all. The blame was all his, this marriage was entirely his fault. She was blameless there.

  “Just sit back, Kat. I won’t be long,” Myles said dryly as he stepped away and quickly began to reset the bed.

  Katherine watched his steady, agile movements. Myles was not the kind of man she had expected to know how to do even the simplest of chores. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, a man who grew up with the aid of servants which came to his assistances with a promptness that was startling. So how was it that even the menial of task came so easy to him? Katherine watched as Myles smoothed out the top sheets and turned back towards her. She tensed.

  “You don’t have to carry me Myles,” Katherine said as she stood, shivering when her feet touched the chilly wood floor, as she attempted to elude him.

  “I promised your mother I would take c
are of you. I am a man who keeps his word Kat.” With this Myles swept her back up tenderly in his arms. This time she did not protest, but he felt her body grow rigid, with displeasure.

  Katherine said nothing as he gently laid her on the soft crisp sheets and slipped the covers under her arms. She watched as he reached for the silver bowl and rung out the washcloth, placing the warm cloth upon her forehead.

  “How does this feel?” Myles asked, observing how pale and shaken his wife still appeared.

  “Warm,” Katherine said touching the cloth on her head, as her eyes settled on the light scar on his cheek.

  Myles then reached for the washcloth, dipped it into the bowl and rang it out again. This time he dabbed her cheeks, chin and the sides of her neck. He watched the tension ease out of her shoulders, as they loosely slipped to the sheets beneath her. She yawned, adorably and turned on her side, towards him.

  “That feels wonderful,” Katherine said as she leaned her head more closely into the washcloth, unaware she spoke her thoughts out loud.

  Myles smiled, dipped the washcloth into the bowl for the third time and brushed it this time over the side of her shoulder. He watched as the dampness glistened over her smooth delicate skin, saw her lids falling heavily down, her eyelashes brushing the tops of her cheek, and knew he had calmed her somehow to a blissful rest.

  Myles sat gazing down at his wife. This scene for him was something right out of a dream. Many a night he sat in the hospital looking at Katherine as he was doing now, but then it had been with the frightful thought that she may never return to him, that she would never again lie next to him. And here she was now, with her head enchantedly drooping into the pillow, her pink full lips slightly parted, his sweet beautiful wife.

  Myles carefully leaned down, painstakingly he tried not to wake her, but unable to resist the urge to be near her, he brushed a light kiss on her brow. Placing his head next to hers he lay, listening to her soft even breaths, until his eyes drifted down lower to her chin, which he graced with a light feathery kiss. Myles sighed, smelling the scent of roses now swimming in his head, the sweet fragrance driving his thoughts senseless. He turned toward the exposed nape of her neck and brushed a warm kiss on her soft pale skin. Katherine shifted slightly as she made an inaudible sound, which instead of discouraging his efforts only seemed to urge Myles on until he kissed that sweet tender spot again, along with her round delicate shoulder.